Australia 2013: Signing off......

So here we are, headed home....

The last couple of days have flown past really, we were pretty busy yesterday with a trip to Cronulla beach in the morning; again, under questionable skies, and then to the ABC building (that's Australian Broadcasting Corporation, not some iffy flea pit of a cinema in south-east London) to be part of the audience for a radio show entitled Thank God it's Friday.  This is some sort of a 'mock the week'-y sort of programme with a musical act thrown in, this week was Dragon, an ageing,  if seemingly quite good and well-liked Aussie rock outfit.  Never heard of them myself, but I enjoyed the song they played all the same.  Show was excellent even if we didn't quite get all the topical Aussie jokes. 

Then it was on to the Coopers in Newtown for Rebecca's birthday bash.  On the way we found that Philip has no sense of measurement  whatsoever, it was bloody miles despite him claiming otherwise.... nevertheless, the Coopers was a fine place with an open-air area where we camped for our tea and a good few beers before heading back for a few more at home to round off our last night in Oz. 

Our final day started with rain again and Rebecca turned up with her friend Ash for a birthday breakfast of eggy bread.  We chatted for quite some time before finalising our packing and getting all the weights hopelessly wrong. As a result Becca is bringing back a lot more of our stuff than she really needed to.

And so Jez waved us goodbye for the last time from Petersham and our travelling problems started in earnest.  Roadworks at Sydenham station delayed us for some time although we're really not sure why the dappy driver chose to go that way - they were removing a railway footbridge and you might think that the cab company would have been privy to that fact. 

Then, when we got to check the bags they rejected Fairy's art folder despite her  ringing in advance to check whether it would be OK.... evidently the arse/elbow familiarisation concept is as rife out there in Oz as it is back home.  We eventually got it sorted and it sits below us in the hold. 

As for the journey so far..... Well. Where to start.  First of all we were flying via Dubai rather than Singapore.  This pleased me as the longer stretch improved the chances of a decent kip.  And we had a feuding couple kicking verbal chnks out of each other behind us to raise our spirits. So off we went and well, the girls say I slept, but I really didn't feel it. It was a very bumpy ride, the worst I think Ive encountered in my limited flight experience. The seatbelt signs went on about three times and the Captain warned of 'weather ahead'... Then, when Wayne woke up she was even more fidgety than ever before and after five minutes of shifting and sweating she finally put the sick bag to good use.   Not good.....but more bad news was on its way.

Seems the 'weather ahead' was a thunderstorm at Dubai which had kicked up the inevitable sandstorm and landing at Dubai, and the back-up airfield was out of the question as nobody could see where they were.  So on we flew to Bahrain where we spent a good hour or so on the Tarmac while they refuelled the plane.  Then we headed back to Dubai for the connectors who were on our flight.  Further waiting there even before we were off the plane as the was a medical incident as well to contend with.  We waited ages to re-board but eventually we made it back on. 

So here we are, hopefully on the final leg back to Heathrow.  We've texted our chauffeur, John, in the hope that he can still come collect us after our extended flight.  Needless to say, just for more fun, I was out of credit on my Optus simcard so I was beginning to wonder if we'll ever get home.... So glad we got tomorrow off too, even if it is to go see me old ma and explain where it is we've been for the past four weeks... 

The Captain said he'd give it the berries for us on the way home and we are looking at seven hours before we are finally back on British soil for the first time in four weeks.  

So, where has this four-week journey taken us, just to round up this blog once and for all and relieve those few of you who have bothered of the burden of reading it.......

Sydney: Just another large city with people going about their daily routine, kids going to school, poeple going to work, catching trains, hustling and bustling. Until, of course, you get to the harbour.  Apart from Manly I never did see the north side of the main harbour area, nor did I go over the bridge;  nevertheless, the whole area is simply breathtaking and the Opera House was even more stunning than I ever imagined it would be.  Betterthan London?  You betcha!

Melbourne: aside from the Grand Prix and interesting, older town,  you have to conclude that Melbourne means one thing and one thing only: rain.  And lots of it.  Four seasons in one day,  they say, and it's no exaggeration.  If snow fell in Oz, which I'm sure it does some place,  you'd get that along with sun, wind, rain, fog, frost, sleet, hail,  plagues of frogs and all the other weather forms we endure, all within 24 hours.  

Grand Prix:  despite the weather we loved the Grand Prix.  Melbourne puts on a top show, and where  we stayed was excellent. Shame Raikonnen won though......

Jucy Rentals Campa: for me, the best bit even if the male/female battle for supremacy between Wayne and I reached boiling point whenever navigation reared its ugly head.  We saw real  Australia on our five days on the road, and my favourite bit of Oz - Paynesville and Raymond Island.  Just watch that dead right hand corner going in to the Town, one day there'll be a Jucy parked in someone's front garden despite the huge right turn sign and purely because women still cannot tell their left from their right... close  behind was Phillip Island with its penguins, the  glorious race track, it's wandering Wallabies and of course the Cowes camp site right on the beach, and I mean right on the beach.  Foster, Tathra and Ulladulla saw us come and go too.

Manly Beach:  the best beach in Sydney,  bar none.  Nice bit of town and a lovely ferry across to this northern beach.  You can take your world famous Bondi and keep it, to me it was little more than Margate on a bad day.

Taronga Zoo:  glorious views of the Harbour and home to a hundred or more weird, wild and wonderful animals, including a tiger who I bet is still trying to get its football out of the pond.....and of course the seals and sea lions, always a delight to see.

Bribie Island:  Gods waiting room  for savvy wrinklies maybe, but he musta got Michaelangelo in to do the decorating.  A glorious sandy beach stretching for miles in a small corner of a little island, which has everything you could possibly want for a holiday getaway.  Pelicans nestle on the streetlamps over the one and only  bridge just for good measure.  Happy to go there again, but stay away from number 3 Pacific Breakers.... Although I s'pose 10 million ants can't all be wrong, can they? 

Mooloolabar:  only taken me a week to learn how to spell it.  Great pizzas, great beach combing beach.  

Scarborough (Queensland not North Yorkshire): saw little of this town but instead we had the delightful family get together and probably the best barbie I've ever had. Just wish I'd known who's house I was at.....

Brisbane:  another town where  it surely knows how to rain, but despite that we had a pleasant evening after all, and got some good nightscape pictures from the bridge. 

Montville:  sleepy little tourist village which will never be the same without cries off 'its rolling forward, it rolling forward' and 'keep your foot on the bloody brake and give it some, ferchrissakes'......

The Big Kart Track,  Beerwah:  scene of the re-enactment of the closing laps of the Malaysian Grand Prix between Fairy and myself.  Well it was once they gave me a kart that could cope with my weight....

Brighton, Cronulla: short stay beaches where we've eaten and argued at, and not seen in their best light because of the weather thrown at us during the final few days of our stay. 

Petersham, Newtown, Stanmore - southwestern suburbs of Sydney where we have happily stayed, eaten and drank with Philip and Jez.  Great food and I love Aussie beer.

And thanks to Philip, Jez and of course Harry  for giving us bed, board, bacon and beer when we've been back in Sydney. They may be back over with us before much longer, and we can look forward to a few days and nights out in hopefully some half-decent weather. Remember how cold it was up at Bletchley Park, guys? 

And finally  to Becca for driving us and showing us around on her days off. She's back in London next week for a wedding; bet the short reminder of England and its delights, such as they are, will send her scuttling back with renewed vigour to look for permanent employment.  Good luck, sure you'll get there very soon! 

The Trumpet Polisher, signing off once and for all.....

And so, the end is near...........

Can't believe we only have two days to go before we are headed home.

The last couple of days have been spent in Sydney, and boy does it know how to rain here. We decided yesterday to head out to Bondi as Rebecca has been hunting down some shoes for a wedding she's going to back in the UK, and Bondi Junction was the only place they had them in her size. Sounds more like a place in Imperial India than Oz to me, but hey ho.... So I got dragged to a Westfield (never knew it was an Aussie thing) and Wayne and Becca went into full on shopping mode;  I actually thought Becca had qualified for citizenship the amount of time she spent in one shop...

Shopping done and we strolled on down to the world famous Bondi beach.  Just as we get there it starts to pelt down again. Even if the weather was more akin to Margate on a wet Monday in March,  I don't get what all the fuss is about. I know the surf is great there but for god's sake, the place is more like Scarborough than an international jet-set destination for the beautiful people. If they do go there on days like this, I doubt if they stay beautiful for too long.  We pitched up at a cafe which would equally have been at home on the rain-soaked and wind-swept coast of Yorkshire; the heaters were on outside and the food was the wrong side of iffy.  Rebecca is sweating over a short creative test for a job she's going for here, and I'm sweating under the glow of the heaters and have to bale out early.

We bus it back into town on the world's  slowest bus, and head home on the train, ready to head out again for a beer and a Thai dinner in Stanmore. The food is superb and revives our spirits.  We head home, thankfully fairly dryly, and spend the rest of the evening watching tv and trying to fathom why Jez is spending so long playing Bad Piggies...

Today is more of the same.....we head out to the City in wet weather, this time in search of treasure to take home with us for friends, and I guess family as well.  We are soon done as the Aussie souvenir experience is actually pretty good.  We whack it all in two shops and I also sate my desire for fast food with a Hungry Jacks - excellent.  Seems to be what we know back home as Burger King - only a hundred times  better.  It's still pouring,  so we head home to go out to Brighton with Rebecca to what is best described as a dessert restaurant, complete with pancakes, ice cream chocolate and unfortunately a nasty bout of sisterly acrimony..... We cut the trip short before murder is done and head back to supermarket and bottle shop for final provisions.

So, here we are, having a quiet evening (aside from Waynes eternal/infernal fidgeting on the sofa)and this time in two days time we will be on that plane home.  She'll be fidgeting on there too, no doubt.  You get to a point on most holidays where home becomes appealing and fidgeting partners aside, I'm most certainly there now.  Bet that appeal vanishes faster than a beer at a barbie, the minute I get back to Swanscombe......and fidgeting is the least of my worries.....

Easter on Bribie - Chapter 2

So here we are at the end of our time on Bribie. Tomorrow morning we head back to Brisbane and on to Sydney for the final few days if our holiday.

The rest of Easter has been a mix of busy and laid back; yesterday we had a quick hour on the beach before heading up to Scarborough (that's Queensland, not Yorkshire or wherever it is these days) for a family get-together.  Again the newbie was made to feel most welcome as I chatted to Wayne's cousins Gary and Sarah, and Clive and Barbara and her wacky sister Beryl are there too. The food was great and lots of it; I made a new friend in Ben, the very large black Labrador who, as he's a boisterous boy, was confined to the side of the house.  Reminded me of Scooby with his head the size of a football.......

From there we went on to Brisbane; I'd hoped to get there and tick off another major Australian city; however there's an extra reason for being there as one of Wayne's school friends is also on a visit to Oz, and we are all in Brisbane the same night so a meet has been arranged.  However, by the time we get there the heavens have opened and in very big style. For a second I think we are back in Melbourne....... we park and I'm dead against going any further.  But we head back over to the north side of the river and after going to the wrong hotel and getting wet we finally meet up with Janice and Tony, Debbie and Brian.  The latter couple live in Perth.  We find somewhere to eat on a pretty dead Easter Sunday evening. I get talking F1 and bikes with the boys while the girls catch up, and get on well with another 2 total strangers.  On this occasion, both are brits but neither live in the uk - Tony lives in Barcelona because of a caravan- and thats true.  I won't go into details.....  I don't want to eat after such a huge spread back in Scarborough, so order a light meal.  I've quite enjoyed cutting back on my food, but doubt if it will carry on back in the uk. On the tv in the restaurant is a tv show about near plane crashes including the one that dumped in the Hudson a few years back. I really need to see that, don't I?

We stroll back in thankfully dry weather, across the bridge, take a few snaps, say our goodbyes and head home to bed.  I just wonder, how many of the so many delightful people I've met during my time in Oz, will I ever see again?

And so to the last day of Easter and our last full day on Bribie.  The girls head out shopping after a late start and I head to the beach. By the time I arrive it's grey and windy and I sat half an hour before giving up and heading back to the unit. The girls arrive back and the sun starts to shine again....conspiracy?  I used to think that, but now I know everyone's got it in for me........

We head back out to the beach and have our final session (sadly a so-so one weather-wise) before saying our last goodbyes to Clive and Barbara.  We walk back and head out for fish and chips from the local chippie and that's our day done.  

Bribie?  Love it.  A tiny little corner of an island where the beach is long and beautiful.  It has all you need and isn't too far from civilisation.  The weather has been pretty kind to us and thankfully nobody has got sunburn.  Have to take issue with the dolphins for their no-show though......

Easter on Bribie - the story so far.....

....is an entirely different experience to our days so far. We have had the beach and it seems most of the island to ourselves for the rest of the week, but since yesterday the world and his wife showed up.  Well, by comparison.... Yesterday we still had loads of space on the beach and, by English standards, was deserted, but there we certainly lots more people than before. This included parascenders landing near us and half of China pitching up next to us, or so it seemed.  Our day was spent sunning ourselves and little more, really, other than cooking a spag Bol, drinking beer and watching a film. Oh yes and running out of all phone credit, so sorry, no post last night :-( 

Not so today though, it was a very grey start so we decided to head up to Mooloolobar (still not sure I've spelt this right) where it was still grey upon arrival. We encountered some very English traffic on the Bruce Highway heading up there and detoured along a more countrified route which was quite nice. We arrived in Mooloolobar and had lunch at Augellos, who dont shrink back from telling you they are two-time winners of the Best Global Pizza competition.  I had the 2010 winner of hot smoked salmon plus just about everything else you could chuck at a pizza, and very, very nice it was too. 

We strolled around Mooloolobar for a bit, had a bit of a beachcomb and also came upon a very touching war memorial for our canine friends.  One thing I can't wait for is to get home as that signals the search for a new dog for me.  Hopefully I do better this time and don't repeat the Scooby experience.  I frequently wonder how the huge, big, soft lad is getting on, hope he's well and found a much better home than I could give him.  Still miss him and of course my beloved Abs loads and loads, so the new arrival can't come soon enough for me.  Evidently and surprisingly to my mind, Australia is very much a nation of animal lovers, and it seems above most, dogs are much loved here. 

As I write Wayne and Fairy have gone for a walk up to Clive's to get an address for a family do tomorrow. Im s'posed to be dozing rather than writing as Im knackered but hey! it got me out of another walk....... At least, hopefully, this herd of family members are not all seven foot tall like the remainder of the Saunders clan, and I won't come away with another bout of neck ache........

So, another, and thankfully much cooler, day is coming to a close here on Bribie,  two more to go before we head back to Sydney for our last few days in Oz.  Beginning to think about, and look forward to in some ways now,  home, despite the inevitable wild downward mood swing the minute I hit Swanscombe, and get back to the daily grind of work, chores, deadlines and dilemmas.  But, I got my mates to go back to, and that will cushion the blow, so to those of you that know me,  it won't be long before I'm back to bore the arse off you with my tales of 'that country next to New Zealand'...... bet  you all can't wait!

Ps once again this blogger software has proved itself to be the biggest pile of kangaroo s**t I've encountered since I've been here.....it's worse than CF21 by kilometres......

Taking it easy today

Not much to report today I'm afraid, been taking it very easy.  

This morning we went off to see Clive and Barbara again, this time with an 80th birthday cake for Clive, expertly baked under testing conditions by Rebecca and Fairy.  He had a great time and  we spent a lot of the morning chatting and eating spring rolls in the garden. We have even managed to convince him to come out and play tonight at the Surf Club. It's Rebecca's last night with us before she heads back to Sydney. 

Time has gone fast already, we are heading fast into Easter Weekend, when the Island will fill with holidaymakers -in fact it's pretty much their last chance for this year as Easter signifies the end of the season down under. From now until September its autumn and winter, and the temperature drops as low as 8 degrees - at night. Did you all get that at home - that's 8 degrees at might!  None of this snow rubbish we have to put up with; guess it must get as bad as a pleasant autumn's day in England at worst.  Only saying today though that if I was ever to live out here, I'd miss the changing of the seasons - but not the dead of winter....

We spent a lovely easy afternoon on the beach, enjoying the warm sun and the refreshing sea.  Haven't done much more than heavy paddling though,  it's quiet choppy and I'm not sure of the depth to chance a few swimming strokes.  We do have a pool in our complex though, and hopefully we will try that out over the weekend.  Never did make time to go and moan about the state of our unit and probably won't now, as its getting well into our week here. 

Just getting ready to head out to the Surf Club for dinner and a few beers.  Looking forward to it - skipped yet another meal again today so we are all pretty peckish.   

And that's that for another day........ It won't be long before we too will have to face up to this elongated winter back in Blighty, I hear its set to continue into April.  Noooooooooooo...........

Island Life Day 2 - caught between a rock and hard place....

Day 2 and we are slow out of the blocks, but Wayne and Rebecca make it on to the beach for a morning walk.  I really must try to get up earlier while on holiday and  make the most of my time up here.

Today it's karting at the Big Kart Track, apparently the biggest track in Australia.  We get there after a rainy trip in.  We are umming and ahhing about taking the plunge when it starts raining again,  and those on the track spend more time facing the wrong way than the right.  They shorten the track, and we decide to go and get lunch before we head out on track.  Wayne knows a really nice place they've been too before, but for one minor detail.... What village  it's in. It begins with  'm', apparently..... Trouble is, every village in the Glass House Mountains begins with an 'M'...... We tour about a bit, more heavy rain, until we actually find the mystical team room, actually located in Montville.

And that's where the fun really started...... Wayne untypically makes a bit if a mess of parking our little lorry.  We end up a matter of a few inches from the back of a Mercedes 4wd, facing downhill and she can't work out the odd handbrake arrangement or the auto box, which seems to have no concept of what a hill is. We are properly stuck, well and truly. Wayne can't back the car up for fear of rolling into the merc in front of us. She has her foot planted on the foot brake and daren't move..... and we have attracted the attention of the tearoom across the road who seem highly amused at our predicament.  WTer is pouring out of the car and it's getting very hot as the engine is still on. We decide to try and wedge a rock in front of the front wheel to stop it getting further down the hill and guess at? It worked? Wayne manages to back the car out of danger and somewhere near to where it should have been in the first place.... 

Lunch in the Poet's Room and we head back to a kart track bathed in brilliant sunshine, and Fairy and I head out on to an empty track.  She immediately starts disappearing into the distance despite my foot being flat to the floor for each and every lap.  I slow down, she catches up to lap me and I try to defend.  She breezes past with a wave.  This is not good.  I'm a lot fatter than I thought I was.  A couple more humiliating  laps of her becoming a spot in the distance and I'm called in.  They give me another kart.  This is much better..... I'm not so fat after all and we are both flying, we trade places a few times and have top fun despite some much slower people getting in the way of our frantic pace.  Our half hour is soon up and we hobble back up to Wayne and Becca with big grins on our faces.  I make the classic 'L' on my forehead in the Top Gear style, in deference to the round thrashing that's just been dished out to me. That's it, I'm gong on a diet. Thanks Fairy for a brilliant birthday pressie, thoroughly enjoyed it! 

Our evening plans to go to the movies are  ruined when we arrive to find the cinema....shut.  Hardly surprising, it's a tin shack with a single screen and an estimated 30 seats. Hey, ho, instead we nip back to the video shop and buy $20's worth of ex-renters to keep us going.   True to form, Wayne's fidgeting after 20 minutes of the first one. ....

And that's day 2 over and done with.  Beach tomorrow - if the weather holds! 

Island Life: Day 1 - a day late.......

Apologies for another no-show last night - more tethering problems last night and I lost a page of priceless blog. Ok so no it wasn't priceless it was the usual shite, but I got hacked off with it nonetheless.  So it's a double helping to bring you back up to date tonight, in two chunks  in case the Internet goes on me again.....

So here we are, finally on Bribie Island, Queenslamd, about an hour north-east of Brisbane.  The majority of the island is a national park, the remainder a sleepy yet sunny beach resort with a glorious beach.  I think, however, have lowered the average age of the population by some measure.  About 50 years, I'd say..... We are in a great location but sadly the unit we are in is tired and has quite a few things wrong with it.  We are heading in to the booking office tomorrow to have a moan. If you are reading this Philip, please dont take  this as any complaint about what you booked for us, the location is absolutely perfect, and you can hardly be blamed for the place not being cleaned properly, half the cupboard doors are looking for a hand to fall off into, and things are hanging off the wall.

Anyway, back to our first day on Bribie...... We collected our Kia people carrier from the airport and headed up the Bruce Highway and headed right to the Island. We arrived about lunchtime and headed straight for the beach, some 40 yards from our front door, or at least as long as the front door stays on its hinges and doesn't fall down the stairs, at which time it will be just 36 yards from the beach.....

We head off along the beach to Uncle Clive and Auntie Barbara's about a mile up the beach.   They have lived on the Island for 24 years and Clive has just turned 80, and looks pretty good on it despite just having had the flu for 3 weeks.  They are very welcoming, especially to the newest member of the clan.  I even chat on the phone to Sarah, their daughter, on the phone when she makes her daily call.  If only people back home were as friendly, then the daily grind of life there would become so much more bearable; earlier, outside Woolworths, we had struck up a jovial conversation with a a complete and utter fruitcake, and back in Sydney, we even had a laugh with the usually inscrutable check-in fella.  Forget all the glorious scenery and landscapes, and maybe even the mental animals here,  for me it's the people that makes this country so enjoyable.

We head back and have dinner at the Surf Club, just along the beach.  Not too bad, but I had to gee them up after we wait for nearly an hour for our food.   We finish our first day on Bribie off with  a stroll back and spend some time drawing on Wayne's leg, where a rather large bite has emerged and gone very, very red.  We think it might actually need medical attention; and I advise her not to buy any new shoes for now, just in case.......  

Tomorrow we are due to go karting where Fairy and I will be going head to head on the track.  We both love F1 so it should be very interesting.  We are trying to get Wayne to come too, but I doubt that will happen.  

So that's about it for part 1 of tonight's meanderings.....the font may end up funny as Fairy has just shown me how to avoid any further word losses and the accompanying losses of my usual, legendary composure :-)

Fierce Creatures and a trip to Taronga Zoo

So the third week started with the Saunders women comparing their various bites, peelings and other pest-inflicted deformities......  And I thought being stuck on the A2 was an unpleasant start to the week. Funny but despite being bitten minutes after arriving in Petersham, I've been relatively left alone, despite several late evenings al fresco.

Today is a trip to Taronga Zoo.  I love zoos, except for London Zoo which should in my opinion been closed down many moons ago. Mind you it was many moons ago that I went so maybe time has improved it..... Not going back to find out though.  But, pleased to report that Taronga is excellent, with the conservation message seemingly at the heart of its mission.  Situated above Sydney harbour on the north side, you would cheerfully pay for just the spectacular views back over the harbour, towards the city, and the trademark Opera House and Bridge. Today they are bathed in brilliant sunshine as we make our second ferry journey in two days across to the north side of the harbour, so a whole new set of shots are taken from our deck seat on the ferry.

The trip in to the zoo is completed by the  'sky safari' cable car and, as ever, the author double takes at anything to do with heights.  Told in no uncertain terms to man-up, I climb aboard and actually enjoy the half a kilometre ride up to the top of the zoo.  From there it's a feast of superb animals and stupid humans.  What is it about zoos that hammers home just how bloody thick other people are?  There are lots of children and they are soooo noisy, I feel sorry for the animals and wonder what they are thinking, the other side of the glass or the fence.  I have a go at a stupid woman for using flash in an area where people are clearly asked not too. I was just waiting for the 'didn't see the sign' but I must have my ugly face on today as I get a woeful 'sorry' when I point out the flash will frighten the animals.

Aside from human-baiting, we enjoy two excellent shows,  with various birds and my favourites, the seals and a sea-lion.  Or sea-fox as Gary Atkins will know them.  Exploitation? Not a bit of it. These animals manage to survive and thrive in the wild, without hands, supermarkets or our help, so a few tricks must  be chicken-feed to them.  Geddit? Chicken feed! It's a bird show! D'ya see what I did there? Whatdya mean, not funny?

We have some lunch and carry on looking at the various animals all afternoon.  Highlight was a tiger playing with a huge ball in a small pool,  they had swapped the big cats' enclosures about and evidently this oversize moggy was having a ball.  Ball? Geddit?  No? Sod off then. Its my blog, and I thought it was funny.....

I also make a fool of myself with a motionless, shiny hippo which, as the hippos were not in their usual place, I take to be a life size fibreglass model.  Until of course it moves off and ambles back to its temporary residence.  Needless to say the Saunders women capitalise on this faux pas and I'm back to equal footing with the local village idiot. If only the ferry tickets home were in my pocket and not Wayne's.

We head back and true to form, once we hit the water Wayne starts turning green. Trouble is we are still only on the quay. It's a water-bound wobbly one and she really does not like it. She's certainly no seafarer but she holds it together and we make it back with no mishaps.  Another fine day in this fine  city when we hear that Home is once again covered in snow, especially oop north.  Come on, this is late March now........better be over and done with by the time we get back!

So that's that for another day, sitting in the garden blogging, quaffing beer and waiting for pizza to arrive.  In fact, Harry just gone mental so I think it's just arrived. Time then to sign off for another day. Bribie tomorrow in fact Wayne's just on the phone to Uncle Clive.  Looking toward to meeting some more of the mysterious Eaves clan tomorrow.... But there just one thing I'd like to know......

Why couldn't I go back and see the penguins????????

Multi-21....Red Bull code for whoaaaa! Don't break our car!

Ho ho am I alone in feeling nothing but sympathy and admiration for Seb Vettel. He's a racing driver just doing his job and putting on a bloody good show in the process. Webber is a sulky has-been who has just been tonked yet again by his far superior team-mate. You'd think he'd have learnt to live with it by now?!

And big ups to Lewis Hamilton too, beneficiary from team orders and clearly not happy with it.  Hopefully Nico will thank him by beating him roundly for the rest of the year...

We've just been watching the Malaysian Grand Prix, for those who think I've resorted to stringing together meaningless and unrelated words in the name of this blog.  Thought you'd have noticed by now I was already doing that as far back as post 1.....

Today we made a very late start but kept with the plan to head to Manly Beach. Those in the know will tell you that Manly is far better than the world-famous Bondi.... That's a surfing beach, frequented by over-tanned, over-developed posers who have borrowed their mum's ironing board without asking her.  After passing through Bondi yesterday, I can do nothing but agree with those in the know. The beach at Manly is great, the water is warm and the swimming is easy.  It also has lots of nice eateries and a very nice ferry ride away from Circular Quay.  The return trip gives us the best views yet of the glorious harbour, bridge and of course the beautiful Opera House.  We spent a couple of hours on the beach under warm sun as a pre-cursor to our trip up to Bribie.  The practice session is tough, but necessary to ensure we perform our best during our week at the beach up there in Queensland.

We hurry back to Petersham as Jez is doing roast lamb, and very, very fine it is too. Poor old  Philip has done his back and matters worsen as Rebecca calls to tell him the  306 has croaked it too. We hurry dinner down as we want to want to watch the Grand Prix and a corker it is too, except for the dozy Mclaren mechanics who yet again send JB out with three wheels on his wagon. Not content with sending out their drivers in what look like barely mobile sheds compared to the other top teams, they like to test their drivers further by taking bits off their cars at pit stops as well....

So here we are at the end of day 15, rounding it off by watching Borat....mental. Not seen it before, very funny in a twisted sort of way.Almost as funny as the advert over here for 'Ross Kemp in Search of Pirates'... What's Mr Potato Head doing over here?

Off to Taronga Zoo tomorrow, just hope they let me out at closing time......

Kickin' back

Here we are almost half way through our Australian holiday.... how time flies when you're starting to worry about going home.

Aside from a vey early start, more of which later, today has been a very leisurely affair and very nice too.  It's been warm but with a few spots of rain here and there.  We are preparing for a barbecue before sitting back to watch qualifying for the Malaysian Grand Prix. Won't be happy if JB and McLaren haven't pulled their socks up after last week's poor showing.  Other than that today has been spent chatting cars all day with Philip and Jez, playing snooker on the iPad (only cos I'm way better at that than the real thing) taking Harry the dog for another walk and taking a look at Rebecca's new house just down the road.  Oh yes and buggering up the back electric window in Philip's 306 during strip down to the Vietnamese butcher in Marrickville.

Back to that early start.  Not much will get me up at 6:30 with any degree of willingness, but a ride in a classic car certainly will. And Philip and Jez have a rather nice 1972 MG BGT..... Philip very kindly takes me out with the proviso that we go out early as the old girl is prone to overheating in traffic.  I recall barbecuing my legs in my old spitfire and agree with the proviso, so we leave at about 7:02. And again at 7:12 after we quickly rectify a substantial fuel leak.  Old cars, you gotta love 'em but you gotta be prepared for the odd spot of spanner wielding.  We get on our way and the old girl runs as sweet as a nut.  40 years old and still a delight. We head towards Bondi and stop off just above Bondi to look out over the city. Breathtaking.........  We head down to Bondi and through Vaucluse (properly posh...) then up into the city and under the harbour bridge.  There is a cruise liner in dock at Circular Quay and its busy, but we howl through the streets of the City,  the barking exhaust note reverberating against the walls of the tall buildings..... heaven.. We head over the Anzac Bridge  and head in to Annandale for a cuppa and a bacon sarnie to round off our trip.  Brilliant. I love and miss my MX5 but compared to owning a proper classic, my path is the very easy option and just not the same. Or is it, given the work that Skymo needs doing to him when I get back!? Anyone know how to replace power steering pipes, and where I can get a cat exhaust box cheap?!

So there we are, half way through and lovin' it.  Yes Mick I did moan a bit down there in Ulladulla but that was a blip in an otherwise moan-free landscape and I did apologise for that,  albeit not on Facebook......

Don't bring on the second half though, it means I'm getting nearer to going home :-((((((

Navigator vs Nagivator: round 2

So........ The final day on the road dawns to grey skies and a once again sleepless Wayne, this time not down to my snoring....

A quick breakfast and dollar-a-piece showers and we are on the road for the final leg, Ulladulla to Sydney.  The going is slow, we are in rush hour and there are a great deal more cars on the road than we have seen so far in our travels. We have 221 km to go and the road takes us through Nowra, Berry, Kiama, Port Kembla and then Woolongong before we finally hit the Sydney suburbs. Pandemonium rules in Team Jucy as driver and Nagivator bicker out the final miles.  The blue blob disappears on google maps and Wayne goes into one. Cheesy gets the map out and tries to go it alone with the map between his knees, reading it at the numerous traffic lights.  Tension mounts and tempers flare.  Cheesy soon gets the hang of abusing the Sydney traffic, saaahf Landan style.. Somehow we arrive back at Terminus Street without any exchange of blows, and are greeted by Philip and Harry with a comment from Philip  of ' well that's rather green isn't it!'

A quick clean up and we are back on the road to drop off the van, with five minutes in hand after, with Philip leading the way in his 306.  We drop off the van and head for the supermarket.  Woolworths is alive and well in Australia but is a food supermarket and a bottle shop. For the uninitiated, a bottle shop is an off-licence, attached usually to a supermarket, or often a pub.  But, you have to pay separately for your booze.  Philip and I buy drink (hunting) while Wayne and Fairy buy fruit and tim-tams (gathering). We head back to Petersham and have a very late lunch.

So, after the last four days, what have we learned?

1) Man and woman cannot co-exist as driver and navigator.  It's like putting a hungry cat in a mouse cage and expecting them to both be intact after ten minutes. Next time, a sat nav will be essential to preserve both sanity and life.

2) Australia is a bloody huge place. We did 1405km, or 871 miles in pounds shillings and pence, and yet we didn't even scratch the surface of this vast country.  Bring on round 2, some day...

3) Australia is also bloody expensive. 38 dollars for breakfast says it all.

4) The Toyota Lucida is a fine old  barge. It kept us safe and comfortable, sipped fuel and held together like only a Toyota can, despite sounding for all the world like it was about to fall apart.

5) Jucy rentals are to be highly recommended; they are friendly, helpful and their vans are brilliantly kitted out.  Just don't examine the quality of the paint job too closely, view it at 200yards for best results.

6)England certainly does not have the monopoly on bumpy roads, road works and twat drivers. Although driving is generally better here, nobody is in a hurry outside of Sydney, which is in some ways good and others bad. As for Sydney, well... It might as well be anywhere in England. Everyone's in a hurry, all in the wrong lane and quick on the horn.

7) Even at our great age, camping is great fun although I baulk for now at being referred to as a 'grey nomad'.

8) I would love a camper van but would need either a zippy little smart car or a 500cc motorbike hanging off the back of it to get around on during stops.

9) Everybody should go to Phillip Island and to Paynesville. Someone from Telstra should visit Tathra and they should remake Carry On Camping in Ulladulla.

10) On balance, I love Australia and would seriously consider moving here if they'd have me, but I think I would have to live in Victoria, but not Melbourne.  It rains faaaaaaar too much...........

We now have a few days in Sydney before heading off to Bribie for a week. Bring on a proper bed......

Wits end with this w***y blogging software.....

Between this software and keeping an Internet connection on the road, it's a toss up which will claim my sanity first.....

Anyway, here we are on the penultimate day of our travels, and it started uncharacteristically with rain and a very grumpy Wayne.  It seems I snored a little last night.  Revenge, I feel for casting aspersions on my ability as a navigator earlier in the week,  as if me already referring to her as the 'nagivator' wasn't enough.  Always a belt and braces man, me......

So we hit the road today without breakfast as, to be frank, we forgot to go shopping last night.  Not that Tathra would have offered much, we feel;  it's been our least favourite stop so far.  We closed our  anti-love affair with the place by heading out the wrong way, by some way, and then having to pass through the town yet again to get on the right road.  Honesty prevents me from blaming Wayne on this occasion.....

We headed inland, seemingly forever when we're expecting a picturesque coastal road.  Convinced we were wrong, but we persevered to find for once we were right and we arrived in Bermagui for possibly the most expensive breakfast I've ever purchased. Nice, yes, but nearly 40 bucks? I think not. Yes, this country is beautiful and yes, the people are great, but Jesus H Christ do they know how to charge! We leave Bermagui and head back to the Princes Highway, aiming for Bateman's Bay for a stop to break up today's shorter leg of our epic journey.  Shorter legs, of course, being my speciality before anyone else thinks that one .....

Now here's a tip for anyone contemplating a trip in a camper van round Oz. The speed limit is 100kph which in our money is a piddly 62mph.  As in our country, lorries often speed up on you, if you  try and overtake them, and one did on us today. We topped a distinctly unsedate 120kph, wobbling along the road like some high-speed jelly and only just made it past the lorry before having to slam on the anchors for a 75 kph corner......All very untidy and unsightly. Again, honesty prevents me from blaming Wayne.......and that was my final clean pair of shreddies, too.

We stopped shaking in time for our arrival at Bateman's Bay. A quick trip into woolwrths was about all we could muster in the way of interest here. I'm sure we must have missed the better bits, somehow.... But back on the road for a short hop to Ulladulla and our bed for the last night.

Anyone seen Carry On Camping? The bit where Sid and Bernie are paying to get in to the campsite?  It was just like that...... 5 dollars for this, three dollars for that, a dollar for a shower...... Seems they have set their sights on fleecing the just-in-distance Sydney weekenders which must make their way out here on a regular basis. This sets me off on one on Facebook.  But, all is forgotten once make the short walk to the beach, albeit under heavy skies, to find the most beautiful long sandy beach we've yet to encounter. I'm in the sea like a shot.  The water is warm and refreshing and the skies lift for an hour. It's glorious until.....it becomes heavenly.  Half a dozen dolphins swing by and all the moaning is set aside for a few moments...... Until it starts raining again. Make that, hammering it down.  Fortunately we are safe in our campa and don't get wet.

Then it's time for tea and we pass the usual places, determined to find something nice for our last night.  We don't go far wrong, Tony's Italian Restaurant at Ulladulla harbour is just perfect.  Wayne has a gorgeous fillet steak,  and I have grilled fish, both with veg instead of chips. Both meals are superb and we head off home full and contented.  We return to the site and park up. I'm convinced there's a little snake on our pitch.  It's a stick and I'm an idiot.  We settle down to read and blog and swear some more at the technology.  And that's that for our penultimate night under the stars.

Coming up next - the big push back to Petersham and the final arguments as to who put what dents in the van........

Paynesville to Tathra via Raymond Island: Koalas, then Trees'n'shit

Sorry for the no-show last night, neither the electrical Internet nor the mobile phone network has reached Tathra, our stay over last night.  Oddly though we did see people walking around with books, tin cans and huge rolls of string........

Day three started to, and ended with, glorious warm sunshine, as we cooked breakfast at Paynesville and made our way down to Raymond Island.  This is a two minute ferry ride, free to those on foot, across from Paynesville. A decent long-jumper could probably do without the ferry, to be honest.  The purpose of our visit is koala. There is a colony on the island.  It's not long before this is a proven fact as we see one of these two feet square balls of fur in a tree near the ferry.  We walk along a little way and a guy drives up, offering to take us to a site where there is a mother and baby. We get in, a little daunted;  the man is wearing a bib and brave. I'm thinking Deliverance and look round the car for evidence of recent misdemeanours. But no need the guy is as good as gold and typical of most Australians, friendly and helpful even if we are English......and sure enough a couple of hundred yards up the road he drops us off and there, lo and behold, are Mother and Baby up a tree. They are truly beautiful little creatures.

Not only do we have several koala to wonder at but a passing 'roo pops his head up too, just by way of an extra treat. We also see a truly rare sight in the wild;  a koala, out of his tree (and not a drop of Victoria bitter in sight) and walking around on the ground.  Wow.  Raymond Island is the very best, maybe just topping the other night's penguin parade.  We very regrettably leave Raymond island after an hour or so to make our way to our next stop which is Tathra, a destination suggested by a very kindly 'grey nomad', the term round these parts for retired gentlefolk who spend their time touring round in caravans, campers, tents and what-have-you.  It's a long way and I'm edgy about making it there before six when the office closes. Still, I want to stop at the bend which caused so much navigational consternation the day before to gather photographic evidence that Wayne would indeed have ended up in the geraniums had she attempted a left turn at a right hand bend.  Wayne reminds me of the presence of the large knife in our little kitchen and the softness of the ground in Paynesville..... I shut up and we drive on.


We set our lunch point as Lakes Entrance, which we se little of apart from a spectacular view from the top of the hill above it, and a small rest area at the bottom. Fed and watered, we press on and into one national park after another.  This means endless trees (Diggins, you were right on that one) and twisty bend after twisty bend for a hundred kilometres or more.  The van is showing signs of its age today, the suspension is knocking, belts are squeaking and the steering is groaning on full lock like a pensioner in a supermarket queue.  Will we make it to Sydney?  Who knows? Jucy Rentals will certainly know about it if the van lunches itself before we get home.....

We arrive at Tathra with no Internet or phone, with twenty minutes or so to spare and book in. First impressions are it's Bogan City....... But we're stuck here for the night so, so what? We head into town and despite the total comms breakdown, we find signs of civilisation: a kebab shop!  We buy fish and chips and a kebab and head off to the beach to eat.  We are watched by 27 seagulls.  The food is excellent and the seagulls get the chips we cant' eat.  We round off our day looking at photos gathered thus far and have an early night. Tomorrow is a short run to Ulladulla, we think. Be nice to take it easy after pushing it today.....

Phillip island to Paynesville: a catalogue of communication breakdown....

Day two of the camper van odyssey started well with a beautiful sunny morning, weather which stayed with us all day. Probably something to do with not being in Melbourne..

Wayne cooked us egg and bacon sandwiches for breakfast under difficult conditions...despite this the beach tucker was good so we started the day in fine spirits.  We had a long days driving ahead of us to get to Paynesville, so we phoned ahead and booked in the Resthaven Caravan Park. Just as we'll we did... Wayne had her heart set on Wilson's Promentary, although what just what Wilson had done to merit this interest and what his Promentary is, or was, remains to be seen. After a very long drive we arrived to find the gate proudly proclaiming that on Tuesday 19th of March the cafe would be closed. It's about 1:30 pm and I've not had my dinner.  Bollocks.

We drive on anyway as early indications are that the area is of spectacular natural beauty.  Quiet where that went remains to be seen; after kilometre upon kilometre of little more than scrub and fire damaged bush, we give up and turn round.  I see the mileage in milking Wayne's faux pas and exercise it to the max.   Back at civilisation, some considerable time later,  we end up in Foster, where we have a hearty lunch and pick up a few provisions for tonight.

The detour cost us dearly and I get edgy about making it to the caravan park in time.  Wayne is instructed not to spare the horses and we head east with an edict of no further stops come hell or high water.  The edict is broken to make sure beer is transferred to the fridge for tonight. Who says I don't know what my priorities are?

We arrive just after six, after countless bouts of swearing at the iPad for either losing our location or the map itself. It seems the electrical interweb down here in carrot cruncher land is of a much lower grade than we are used to.  Then, within a few kilometres of our destination, world war three breaks out in the jucy campa as Wayne claims to not understand the instructions I'm giving her to get to our destination. Apparently the long trip has caused me to break into pidgin Swahili without my knowing, then?  She has trouble with being given some indication of what to expect next, slightly before it comes up on us,  and then loses it completely at one junction which was a simple right-left combination.  For an hour after she maintains that she could have turned left at a 90 degree right hand bend.......despite showing her the map she denies all logic until finally admitting that yes, we arrived at our destination under my guidance,  and no, you can't turn left at a right hand bend without rearranging someone's front garden....

We're all smiles again though after a lovely walk into Paynesville, which looks like an Australian Nantucket. Tomorrow we are ferrying over to Raymond Island where there is a koala colony, and I hope to find an interpreter who can help with the evergreen male-female navigational battle.

Will I make it through the night or will there be patch of Paynesville that will be forever English? Who knows, but there is one helluva big knife in our campa kitchen.......

Phillip Island, Penguins, Rabbits and Tourists...

Just a few quick words today as its been a long one and we need to try and sleep in the strangest of environments...

Left St Kilda and made our way to Phillip Island.  Nice trip down, not too many disagreements once Google Maps came out to save the day.   Phillip Island is like the Isle of Sheppey without the prison, sheerness or leysdown.  So actually it's lovely.

Been past the Motorbike GP circuit here - one of my faves - and have just been to the penguin parade.  This was brilliant with around 700 Little Penguins (and that's their proper name) emerging from the surf and trundling up the beach to their burrows.  Just finished the day with beer and chocolate under the stars. And believe me the Southern Hemisphere sky is spectacular...now gonna try and sleep in our converted Toyota Lucida campa van for the first time.......

Off to Paynesville or Lakes Entrance tomorrow - hopefully a few more, far more interesting words for you tomorrow. That's if I survive the night........

Another day at the South Australian Swimming Championships??

And, in a flash, it was all over......

Despite a 6:30 am start (on a Sunday so you can imagine the foot stamping that took place before we even left) our day at the Grand Prix went sooooo fast, we almost missed it.

Another solid breakfast and we were on our way to get there early for our pit straight walk.  Wasn't too worried about dong this but I went along anyway, and was surprised at how good it was.  We took loads of photos including some idiot who thought it would be funny to sit on the P1 spot, eight hours before Seb Vettel took his place there.  Shame aforementioned idiot was grinning so much he forgot to look down to turn one and see just what it wold really be like to head up a F1 grid.....

We were ushered away from the pit and on to the infield where we saw both Christian Horner, Red Bull Head Honcho, Helmut Marko, the Red Bull team owner, and also Checho Perez, McLaren's new recruit. And then it rained and blew a gale...... We hid under the pit straight bridge for a good twenty minutes where those in our party in shorts half froze to death. Not, for once, the idiot sitting on the grid I hasten to add.....

We watch a few events including the fly-pasts and the final celebrity challenge won once again by some Aussie cricketer type with Chris Hoy coming in second.  We dodged the v8s and the super cars but enjoyed the incredibly loud 70s and 80s Le Mans and Can-Am sports cars. And then to the final race of the week, the Grand Prix itself. We wait with bated breath for a juicy turn one melee in which we expect to see several million quid's worth of F1 cars in a pile before us.  Not so much as a clipped wing as the entire field filed past and on for 200 miles of high-speed action.  Maldonado gave us some consolation as he slid into our gravel trap and beached his Williams, but by and large the race was conducted impeccably with some stout passing and a lot more pit stops than expected.

Eventual winner was Kimi Raikkonnen, which was something of a surprise.  Neither Alonso nor Vettel looked happy despite their podium places.  Hamilton went steadily as did both Force Indias and Webber choked yet again at his home Grand Prix.  JB was disappointing but at least made up a place on his grid spot.  The weather held, just, and we all left the circuit in good spirits.  Fairy and the idiot from earlier tried to pinch the forlorn, lonely Paul di Resta placard from the drivers' parade, and made as good a job of that as they had of filling the water bottle from a golf course sprinkler tap the day before.  I close with nothing but praise for the Australian Grand Prix Corporation and how they run their event, and the people, who have looked after us, guided us, fed us, herded us and entertained us over the past for days..... the very best.

So, here we are in our last night in Melbourne, with some considerable regrets that we have not seen more of this lovely city. Tonight we have discussed differences between here and Sydney and the differences are tangible. Melbourne is better, I think, for being a city with an older character.  I hope one day I can come back and spend more time here.

Tomorrow we are off on our camper van odyssey...... we have some sort of plan, the only fixed points being the fact that we need to find three more places to stay overnight.  The trip is about 600 miles and we really don't know what to expect. The next blog will be on the road and, I suspect, will be far more interesting than previous meanderings..........

Ps thanks to the cheery Jones Stand Steward for providing today's title!

Four seasons in one day?

Nope, just the one. And it's called monsoon.....

The big day loomed large and excitement mounted at the prospect of today's qualifying session and the chance to see who is likely to strike the first blow in the bid for this year's championship.

But first, we thought we'd take a look at St Kilda beach, as it's so close.  Sounds like a plan, think you can easily have too much racing over four days, so we were looking forward to a change of scenery before proceeding to the track for the qualifying. But we wake to very un-beachside skies and by the time we are up and about, light rain has taken hold. Dang. So we change plan and head for Melbourne city proper on the tram. This reminds me of a quaint 80's Aussie film entitled 'Malcolm' in which a dim-witted Melbourne tram worker loses his job for building his own little tram,  has to take in a crim lodger and ends up building a car that splits into two and holding up banks by remote control....

Melbourne city turns out to be a fine place, we stroll around for an hour or so, along Flinders Street to  Federation Square, down to the river and through a Malaysian food festival where we munch delicious chicken satay  and on to lunch in DeGraves Street.  The weather breaks and the sun shines so we decide to head back to the circuit, which turns out to be far, far closer than we expected, and we are soon bathed in sun on the Clark grandstand at turn 9 for the final practice. 12 minutes in and it's properly chucking it down with rain. Not at all nice when you are in shorts......  Despite the rain the f1 guys come back out for a splash about.  There's a few offs, but nothing serious. The session finishes but the rain continues and the v8s dawdle about for 12 uneventful laps.  The weather worsens and we have a quandary. We can stay in our sodden state and hope they don't call the qualy on us, or we can go home where it doesn't matter if  they do.

We choose the middle ground and head back towards turn 14, where we could, in theory,  watch the cars from a general admission area.  As the weather improves a little, this looks like a good plan and we are cheered by the presence of the awesome RAAF FA18 fighter which is flying VERY low over the circuit.  These monsters make the F1 cars look like Honda Jazz's out on a shopping run.   We make it to our chosen turn and the weather worsens yet again.  Philip and Jez call the day and head off home, we decide to stay and tuff it out. They announce a further delay and we are five minutes behind Phil and Jez on our way home. We arrive home absolutely cloaked and dejected but are cheered by the end result, watched by us on TV, of just Q1 being run, cars going off all over the place and the rest of the session postponed until tomorrow morning.  The boys assume their role of hunters and bugger off up the shop to collect tea.  We come back, freshly soaked after a further downpour......

So here we are 8:45 Saturday night, almost at the close of our first week in Oz. So far, so good. I've not been hit by a tram or eaten by a dangerous animal, or claimed by a crazed serial killer who feasts on English tourists. Aside from today we've had good weather, good food and I've yet to get blind drunk, which is going some in Phil and Jez's company.... Wayne's still talking to me, and all  I've managed to lose so far is my headphones pouch .  All in all life is good out here in Oz, I'm chilled and for once feel in fairly good form.  Tomorrow is the Grand Prix at long last, and Monday we embark upon our camper adventure up the east coast back to Sydney, taking in Philip Island to go see the penguins.   Hopefully I can keep my words up and Wayne will still be talking to me by the time we get back;  I'll settle for not being buried at the side of the road after a night of excessive snoring on my part, with Wayne returning to civilisation alone, claiming I was taken by dingos in the night......