Easter on Bribie - the story so far.....

....is an entirely different experience to our days so far. We have had the beach and it seems most of the island to ourselves for the rest of the week, but since yesterday the world and his wife showed up.  Well, by comparison.... Yesterday we still had loads of space on the beach and, by English standards, was deserted, but there we certainly lots more people than before. This included parascenders landing near us and half of China pitching up next to us, or so it seemed.  Our day was spent sunning ourselves and little more, really, other than cooking a spag Bol, drinking beer and watching a film. Oh yes and running out of all phone credit, so sorry, no post last night :-( 

Not so today though, it was a very grey start so we decided to head up to Mooloolobar (still not sure I've spelt this right) where it was still grey upon arrival. We encountered some very English traffic on the Bruce Highway heading up there and detoured along a more countrified route which was quite nice. We arrived in Mooloolobar and had lunch at Augellos, who dont shrink back from telling you they are two-time winners of the Best Global Pizza competition.  I had the 2010 winner of hot smoked salmon plus just about everything else you could chuck at a pizza, and very, very nice it was too. 

We strolled around Mooloolobar for a bit, had a bit of a beachcomb and also came upon a very touching war memorial for our canine friends.  One thing I can't wait for is to get home as that signals the search for a new dog for me.  Hopefully I do better this time and don't repeat the Scooby experience.  I frequently wonder how the huge, big, soft lad is getting on, hope he's well and found a much better home than I could give him.  Still miss him and of course my beloved Abs loads and loads, so the new arrival can't come soon enough for me.  Evidently and surprisingly to my mind, Australia is very much a nation of animal lovers, and it seems above most, dogs are much loved here. 

As I write Wayne and Fairy have gone for a walk up to Clive's to get an address for a family do tomorrow. Im s'posed to be dozing rather than writing as Im knackered but hey! it got me out of another walk....... At least, hopefully, this herd of family members are not all seven foot tall like the remainder of the Saunders clan, and I won't come away with another bout of neck ache........

So, another, and thankfully much cooler, day is coming to a close here on Bribie,  two more to go before we head back to Sydney for our last few days in Oz.  Beginning to think about, and look forward to in some ways now,  home, despite the inevitable wild downward mood swing the minute I hit Swanscombe, and get back to the daily grind of work, chores, deadlines and dilemmas.  But, I got my mates to go back to, and that will cushion the blow, so to those of you that know me,  it won't be long before I'm back to bore the arse off you with my tales of 'that country next to New Zealand'...... bet  you all can't wait!

Ps once again this blogger software has proved itself to be the biggest pile of kangaroo s**t I've encountered since I've been here.....it's worse than CF21 by kilometres......

Taking it easy today

Not much to report today I'm afraid, been taking it very easy.  

This morning we went off to see Clive and Barbara again, this time with an 80th birthday cake for Clive, expertly baked under testing conditions by Rebecca and Fairy.  He had a great time and  we spent a lot of the morning chatting and eating spring rolls in the garden. We have even managed to convince him to come out and play tonight at the Surf Club. It's Rebecca's last night with us before she heads back to Sydney. 

Time has gone fast already, we are heading fast into Easter Weekend, when the Island will fill with holidaymakers -in fact it's pretty much their last chance for this year as Easter signifies the end of the season down under. From now until September its autumn and winter, and the temperature drops as low as 8 degrees - at night. Did you all get that at home - that's 8 degrees at might!  None of this snow rubbish we have to put up with; guess it must get as bad as a pleasant autumn's day in England at worst.  Only saying today though that if I was ever to live out here, I'd miss the changing of the seasons - but not the dead of winter....

We spent a lovely easy afternoon on the beach, enjoying the warm sun and the refreshing sea.  Haven't done much more than heavy paddling though,  it's quiet choppy and I'm not sure of the depth to chance a few swimming strokes.  We do have a pool in our complex though, and hopefully we will try that out over the weekend.  Never did make time to go and moan about the state of our unit and probably won't now, as its getting well into our week here. 

Just getting ready to head out to the Surf Club for dinner and a few beers.  Looking forward to it - skipped yet another meal again today so we are all pretty peckish.   

And that's that for another day........ It won't be long before we too will have to face up to this elongated winter back in Blighty, I hear its set to continue into April.  Noooooooooooo...........

Island Life Day 2 - caught between a rock and hard place....

Day 2 and we are slow out of the blocks, but Wayne and Rebecca make it on to the beach for a morning walk.  I really must try to get up earlier while on holiday and  make the most of my time up here.

Today it's karting at the Big Kart Track, apparently the biggest track in Australia.  We get there after a rainy trip in.  We are umming and ahhing about taking the plunge when it starts raining again,  and those on the track spend more time facing the wrong way than the right.  They shorten the track, and we decide to go and get lunch before we head out on track.  Wayne knows a really nice place they've been too before, but for one minor detail.... What village  it's in. It begins with  'm', apparently..... Trouble is, every village in the Glass House Mountains begins with an 'M'...... We tour about a bit, more heavy rain, until we actually find the mystical team room, actually located in Montville.

And that's where the fun really started...... Wayne untypically makes a bit if a mess of parking our little lorry.  We end up a matter of a few inches from the back of a Mercedes 4wd, facing downhill and she can't work out the odd handbrake arrangement or the auto box, which seems to have no concept of what a hill is. We are properly stuck, well and truly. Wayne can't back the car up for fear of rolling into the merc in front of us. She has her foot planted on the foot brake and daren't move..... and we have attracted the attention of the tearoom across the road who seem highly amused at our predicament.  WTer is pouring out of the car and it's getting very hot as the engine is still on. We decide to try and wedge a rock in front of the front wheel to stop it getting further down the hill and guess at? It worked? Wayne manages to back the car out of danger and somewhere near to where it should have been in the first place.... 

Lunch in the Poet's Room and we head back to a kart track bathed in brilliant sunshine, and Fairy and I head out on to an empty track.  She immediately starts disappearing into the distance despite my foot being flat to the floor for each and every lap.  I slow down, she catches up to lap me and I try to defend.  She breezes past with a wave.  This is not good.  I'm a lot fatter than I thought I was.  A couple more humiliating  laps of her becoming a spot in the distance and I'm called in.  They give me another kart.  This is much better..... I'm not so fat after all and we are both flying, we trade places a few times and have top fun despite some much slower people getting in the way of our frantic pace.  Our half hour is soon up and we hobble back up to Wayne and Becca with big grins on our faces.  I make the classic 'L' on my forehead in the Top Gear style, in deference to the round thrashing that's just been dished out to me. That's it, I'm gong on a diet. Thanks Fairy for a brilliant birthday pressie, thoroughly enjoyed it! 

Our evening plans to go to the movies are  ruined when we arrive to find the cinema....shut.  Hardly surprising, it's a tin shack with a single screen and an estimated 30 seats. Hey, ho, instead we nip back to the video shop and buy $20's worth of ex-renters to keep us going.   True to form, Wayne's fidgeting after 20 minutes of the first one. ....

And that's day 2 over and done with.  Beach tomorrow - if the weather holds! 

Island Life: Day 1 - a day late.......

Apologies for another no-show last night - more tethering problems last night and I lost a page of priceless blog. Ok so no it wasn't priceless it was the usual shite, but I got hacked off with it nonetheless.  So it's a double helping to bring you back up to date tonight, in two chunks  in case the Internet goes on me again.....

So here we are, finally on Bribie Island, Queenslamd, about an hour north-east of Brisbane.  The majority of the island is a national park, the remainder a sleepy yet sunny beach resort with a glorious beach.  I think, however, have lowered the average age of the population by some measure.  About 50 years, I'd say..... We are in a great location but sadly the unit we are in is tired and has quite a few things wrong with it.  We are heading in to the booking office tomorrow to have a moan. If you are reading this Philip, please dont take  this as any complaint about what you booked for us, the location is absolutely perfect, and you can hardly be blamed for the place not being cleaned properly, half the cupboard doors are looking for a hand to fall off into, and things are hanging off the wall.

Anyway, back to our first day on Bribie...... We collected our Kia people carrier from the airport and headed up the Bruce Highway and headed right to the Island. We arrived about lunchtime and headed straight for the beach, some 40 yards from our front door, or at least as long as the front door stays on its hinges and doesn't fall down the stairs, at which time it will be just 36 yards from the beach.....

We head off along the beach to Uncle Clive and Auntie Barbara's about a mile up the beach.   They have lived on the Island for 24 years and Clive has just turned 80, and looks pretty good on it despite just having had the flu for 3 weeks.  They are very welcoming, especially to the newest member of the clan.  I even chat on the phone to Sarah, their daughter, on the phone when she makes her daily call.  If only people back home were as friendly, then the daily grind of life there would become so much more bearable; earlier, outside Woolworths, we had struck up a jovial conversation with a a complete and utter fruitcake, and back in Sydney, we even had a laugh with the usually inscrutable check-in fella.  Forget all the glorious scenery and landscapes, and maybe even the mental animals here,  for me it's the people that makes this country so enjoyable.

We head back and have dinner at the Surf Club, just along the beach.  Not too bad, but I had to gee them up after we wait for nearly an hour for our food.   We finish our first day on Bribie off with  a stroll back and spend some time drawing on Wayne's leg, where a rather large bite has emerged and gone very, very red.  We think it might actually need medical attention; and I advise her not to buy any new shoes for now, just in case.......  

Tomorrow we are due to go karting where Fairy and I will be going head to head on the track.  We both love F1 so it should be very interesting.  We are trying to get Wayne to come too, but I doubt that will happen.  

So that's about it for part 1 of tonight's meanderings.....the font may end up funny as Fairy has just shown me how to avoid any further word losses and the accompanying losses of my usual, legendary composure :-)

Fierce Creatures and a trip to Taronga Zoo

So the third week started with the Saunders women comparing their various bites, peelings and other pest-inflicted deformities......  And I thought being stuck on the A2 was an unpleasant start to the week. Funny but despite being bitten minutes after arriving in Petersham, I've been relatively left alone, despite several late evenings al fresco.

Today is a trip to Taronga Zoo.  I love zoos, except for London Zoo which should in my opinion been closed down many moons ago. Mind you it was many moons ago that I went so maybe time has improved it..... Not going back to find out though.  But, pleased to report that Taronga is excellent, with the conservation message seemingly at the heart of its mission.  Situated above Sydney harbour on the north side, you would cheerfully pay for just the spectacular views back over the harbour, towards the city, and the trademark Opera House and Bridge. Today they are bathed in brilliant sunshine as we make our second ferry journey in two days across to the north side of the harbour, so a whole new set of shots are taken from our deck seat on the ferry.

The trip in to the zoo is completed by the  'sky safari' cable car and, as ever, the author double takes at anything to do with heights.  Told in no uncertain terms to man-up, I climb aboard and actually enjoy the half a kilometre ride up to the top of the zoo.  From there it's a feast of superb animals and stupid humans.  What is it about zoos that hammers home just how bloody thick other people are?  There are lots of children and they are soooo noisy, I feel sorry for the animals and wonder what they are thinking, the other side of the glass or the fence.  I have a go at a stupid woman for using flash in an area where people are clearly asked not too. I was just waiting for the 'didn't see the sign' but I must have my ugly face on today as I get a woeful 'sorry' when I point out the flash will frighten the animals.

Aside from human-baiting, we enjoy two excellent shows,  with various birds and my favourites, the seals and a sea-lion.  Or sea-fox as Gary Atkins will know them.  Exploitation? Not a bit of it. These animals manage to survive and thrive in the wild, without hands, supermarkets or our help, so a few tricks must  be chicken-feed to them.  Geddit? Chicken feed! It's a bird show! D'ya see what I did there? Whatdya mean, not funny?

We have some lunch and carry on looking at the various animals all afternoon.  Highlight was a tiger playing with a huge ball in a small pool,  they had swapped the big cats' enclosures about and evidently this oversize moggy was having a ball.  Ball? Geddit?  No? Sod off then. Its my blog, and I thought it was funny.....

I also make a fool of myself with a motionless, shiny hippo which, as the hippos were not in their usual place, I take to be a life size fibreglass model.  Until of course it moves off and ambles back to its temporary residence.  Needless to say the Saunders women capitalise on this faux pas and I'm back to equal footing with the local village idiot. If only the ferry tickets home were in my pocket and not Wayne's.

We head back and true to form, once we hit the water Wayne starts turning green. Trouble is we are still only on the quay. It's a water-bound wobbly one and she really does not like it. She's certainly no seafarer but she holds it together and we make it back with no mishaps.  Another fine day in this fine  city when we hear that Home is once again covered in snow, especially oop north.  Come on, this is late March now........better be over and done with by the time we get back!

So that's that for another day, sitting in the garden blogging, quaffing beer and waiting for pizza to arrive.  In fact, Harry just gone mental so I think it's just arrived. Time then to sign off for another day. Bribie tomorrow in fact Wayne's just on the phone to Uncle Clive.  Looking toward to meeting some more of the mysterious Eaves clan tomorrow.... But there just one thing I'd like to know......

Why couldn't I go back and see the penguins????????

Multi-21....Red Bull code for whoaaaa! Don't break our car!

Ho ho am I alone in feeling nothing but sympathy and admiration for Seb Vettel. He's a racing driver just doing his job and putting on a bloody good show in the process. Webber is a sulky has-been who has just been tonked yet again by his far superior team-mate. You'd think he'd have learnt to live with it by now?!

And big ups to Lewis Hamilton too, beneficiary from team orders and clearly not happy with it.  Hopefully Nico will thank him by beating him roundly for the rest of the year...

We've just been watching the Malaysian Grand Prix, for those who think I've resorted to stringing together meaningless and unrelated words in the name of this blog.  Thought you'd have noticed by now I was already doing that as far back as post 1.....

Today we made a very late start but kept with the plan to head to Manly Beach. Those in the know will tell you that Manly is far better than the world-famous Bondi.... That's a surfing beach, frequented by over-tanned, over-developed posers who have borrowed their mum's ironing board without asking her.  After passing through Bondi yesterday, I can do nothing but agree with those in the know. The beach at Manly is great, the water is warm and the swimming is easy.  It also has lots of nice eateries and a very nice ferry ride away from Circular Quay.  The return trip gives us the best views yet of the glorious harbour, bridge and of course the beautiful Opera House.  We spent a couple of hours on the beach under warm sun as a pre-cursor to our trip up to Bribie.  The practice session is tough, but necessary to ensure we perform our best during our week at the beach up there in Queensland.

We hurry back to Petersham as Jez is doing roast lamb, and very, very fine it is too. Poor old  Philip has done his back and matters worsen as Rebecca calls to tell him the  306 has croaked it too. We hurry dinner down as we want to want to watch the Grand Prix and a corker it is too, except for the dozy Mclaren mechanics who yet again send JB out with three wheels on his wagon. Not content with sending out their drivers in what look like barely mobile sheds compared to the other top teams, they like to test their drivers further by taking bits off their cars at pit stops as well....

So here we are at the end of day 15, rounding it off by watching Borat....mental. Not seen it before, very funny in a twisted sort of way.Almost as funny as the advert over here for 'Ross Kemp in Search of Pirates'... What's Mr Potato Head doing over here?

Off to Taronga Zoo tomorrow, just hope they let me out at closing time......

Kickin' back

Here we are almost half way through our Australian holiday.... how time flies when you're starting to worry about going home.

Aside from a vey early start, more of which later, today has been a very leisurely affair and very nice too.  It's been warm but with a few spots of rain here and there.  We are preparing for a barbecue before sitting back to watch qualifying for the Malaysian Grand Prix. Won't be happy if JB and McLaren haven't pulled their socks up after last week's poor showing.  Other than that today has been spent chatting cars all day with Philip and Jez, playing snooker on the iPad (only cos I'm way better at that than the real thing) taking Harry the dog for another walk and taking a look at Rebecca's new house just down the road.  Oh yes and buggering up the back electric window in Philip's 306 during strip down to the Vietnamese butcher in Marrickville.

Back to that early start.  Not much will get me up at 6:30 with any degree of willingness, but a ride in a classic car certainly will. And Philip and Jez have a rather nice 1972 MG BGT..... Philip very kindly takes me out with the proviso that we go out early as the old girl is prone to overheating in traffic.  I recall barbecuing my legs in my old spitfire and agree with the proviso, so we leave at about 7:02. And again at 7:12 after we quickly rectify a substantial fuel leak.  Old cars, you gotta love 'em but you gotta be prepared for the odd spot of spanner wielding.  We get on our way and the old girl runs as sweet as a nut.  40 years old and still a delight. We head towards Bondi and stop off just above Bondi to look out over the city. Breathtaking.........  We head down to Bondi and through Vaucluse (properly posh...) then up into the city and under the harbour bridge.  There is a cruise liner in dock at Circular Quay and its busy, but we howl through the streets of the City,  the barking exhaust note reverberating against the walls of the tall buildings..... heaven.. We head over the Anzac Bridge  and head in to Annandale for a cuppa and a bacon sarnie to round off our trip.  Brilliant. I love and miss my MX5 but compared to owning a proper classic, my path is the very easy option and just not the same. Or is it, given the work that Skymo needs doing to him when I get back!? Anyone know how to replace power steering pipes, and where I can get a cat exhaust box cheap?!

So there we are, half way through and lovin' it.  Yes Mick I did moan a bit down there in Ulladulla but that was a blip in an otherwise moan-free landscape and I did apologise for that,  albeit not on Facebook......

Don't bring on the second half though, it means I'm getting nearer to going home :-((((((

Navigator vs Nagivator: round 2

So........ The final day on the road dawns to grey skies and a once again sleepless Wayne, this time not down to my snoring....

A quick breakfast and dollar-a-piece showers and we are on the road for the final leg, Ulladulla to Sydney.  The going is slow, we are in rush hour and there are a great deal more cars on the road than we have seen so far in our travels. We have 221 km to go and the road takes us through Nowra, Berry, Kiama, Port Kembla and then Woolongong before we finally hit the Sydney suburbs. Pandemonium rules in Team Jucy as driver and Nagivator bicker out the final miles.  The blue blob disappears on google maps and Wayne goes into one. Cheesy gets the map out and tries to go it alone with the map between his knees, reading it at the numerous traffic lights.  Tension mounts and tempers flare.  Cheesy soon gets the hang of abusing the Sydney traffic, saaahf Landan style.. Somehow we arrive back at Terminus Street without any exchange of blows, and are greeted by Philip and Harry with a comment from Philip  of ' well that's rather green isn't it!'

A quick clean up and we are back on the road to drop off the van, with five minutes in hand after, with Philip leading the way in his 306.  We drop off the van and head for the supermarket.  Woolworths is alive and well in Australia but is a food supermarket and a bottle shop. For the uninitiated, a bottle shop is an off-licence, attached usually to a supermarket, or often a pub.  But, you have to pay separately for your booze.  Philip and I buy drink (hunting) while Wayne and Fairy buy fruit and tim-tams (gathering). We head back to Petersham and have a very late lunch.

So, after the last four days, what have we learned?

1) Man and woman cannot co-exist as driver and navigator.  It's like putting a hungry cat in a mouse cage and expecting them to both be intact after ten minutes. Next time, a sat nav will be essential to preserve both sanity and life.

2) Australia is a bloody huge place. We did 1405km, or 871 miles in pounds shillings and pence, and yet we didn't even scratch the surface of this vast country.  Bring on round 2, some day...

3) Australia is also bloody expensive. 38 dollars for breakfast says it all.

4) The Toyota Lucida is a fine old  barge. It kept us safe and comfortable, sipped fuel and held together like only a Toyota can, despite sounding for all the world like it was about to fall apart.

5) Jucy rentals are to be highly recommended; they are friendly, helpful and their vans are brilliantly kitted out.  Just don't examine the quality of the paint job too closely, view it at 200yards for best results.

6)England certainly does not have the monopoly on bumpy roads, road works and twat drivers. Although driving is generally better here, nobody is in a hurry outside of Sydney, which is in some ways good and others bad. As for Sydney, well... It might as well be anywhere in England. Everyone's in a hurry, all in the wrong lane and quick on the horn.

7) Even at our great age, camping is great fun although I baulk for now at being referred to as a 'grey nomad'.

8) I would love a camper van but would need either a zippy little smart car or a 500cc motorbike hanging off the back of it to get around on during stops.

9) Everybody should go to Phillip Island and to Paynesville. Someone from Telstra should visit Tathra and they should remake Carry On Camping in Ulladulla.

10) On balance, I love Australia and would seriously consider moving here if they'd have me, but I think I would have to live in Victoria, but not Melbourne.  It rains faaaaaaar too much...........

We now have a few days in Sydney before heading off to Bribie for a week. Bring on a proper bed......

Wits end with this w***y blogging software.....

Between this software and keeping an Internet connection on the road, it's a toss up which will claim my sanity first.....

Anyway, here we are on the penultimate day of our travels, and it started uncharacteristically with rain and a very grumpy Wayne.  It seems I snored a little last night.  Revenge, I feel for casting aspersions on my ability as a navigator earlier in the week,  as if me already referring to her as the 'nagivator' wasn't enough.  Always a belt and braces man, me......

So we hit the road today without breakfast as, to be frank, we forgot to go shopping last night.  Not that Tathra would have offered much, we feel;  it's been our least favourite stop so far.  We closed our  anti-love affair with the place by heading out the wrong way, by some way, and then having to pass through the town yet again to get on the right road.  Honesty prevents me from blaming Wayne on this occasion.....

We headed inland, seemingly forever when we're expecting a picturesque coastal road.  Convinced we were wrong, but we persevered to find for once we were right and we arrived in Bermagui for possibly the most expensive breakfast I've ever purchased. Nice, yes, but nearly 40 bucks? I think not. Yes, this country is beautiful and yes, the people are great, but Jesus H Christ do they know how to charge! We leave Bermagui and head back to the Princes Highway, aiming for Bateman's Bay for a stop to break up today's shorter leg of our epic journey.  Shorter legs, of course, being my speciality before anyone else thinks that one .....

Now here's a tip for anyone contemplating a trip in a camper van round Oz. The speed limit is 100kph which in our money is a piddly 62mph.  As in our country, lorries often speed up on you, if you  try and overtake them, and one did on us today. We topped a distinctly unsedate 120kph, wobbling along the road like some high-speed jelly and only just made it past the lorry before having to slam on the anchors for a 75 kph corner......All very untidy and unsightly. Again, honesty prevents me from blaming Wayne.......and that was my final clean pair of shreddies, too.

We stopped shaking in time for our arrival at Bateman's Bay. A quick trip into woolwrths was about all we could muster in the way of interest here. I'm sure we must have missed the better bits, somehow.... But back on the road for a short hop to Ulladulla and our bed for the last night.

Anyone seen Carry On Camping? The bit where Sid and Bernie are paying to get in to the campsite?  It was just like that...... 5 dollars for this, three dollars for that, a dollar for a shower...... Seems they have set their sights on fleecing the just-in-distance Sydney weekenders which must make their way out here on a regular basis. This sets me off on one on Facebook.  But, all is forgotten once make the short walk to the beach, albeit under heavy skies, to find the most beautiful long sandy beach we've yet to encounter. I'm in the sea like a shot.  The water is warm and refreshing and the skies lift for an hour. It's glorious until.....it becomes heavenly.  Half a dozen dolphins swing by and all the moaning is set aside for a few moments...... Until it starts raining again. Make that, hammering it down.  Fortunately we are safe in our campa and don't get wet.

Then it's time for tea and we pass the usual places, determined to find something nice for our last night.  We don't go far wrong, Tony's Italian Restaurant at Ulladulla harbour is just perfect.  Wayne has a gorgeous fillet steak,  and I have grilled fish, both with veg instead of chips. Both meals are superb and we head off home full and contented.  We return to the site and park up. I'm convinced there's a little snake on our pitch.  It's a stick and I'm an idiot.  We settle down to read and blog and swear some more at the technology.  And that's that for our penultimate night under the stars.

Coming up next - the big push back to Petersham and the final arguments as to who put what dents in the van........

Paynesville to Tathra via Raymond Island: Koalas, then Trees'n'shit

Sorry for the no-show last night, neither the electrical Internet nor the mobile phone network has reached Tathra, our stay over last night.  Oddly though we did see people walking around with books, tin cans and huge rolls of string........

Day three started to, and ended with, glorious warm sunshine, as we cooked breakfast at Paynesville and made our way down to Raymond Island.  This is a two minute ferry ride, free to those on foot, across from Paynesville. A decent long-jumper could probably do without the ferry, to be honest.  The purpose of our visit is koala. There is a colony on the island.  It's not long before this is a proven fact as we see one of these two feet square balls of fur in a tree near the ferry.  We walk along a little way and a guy drives up, offering to take us to a site where there is a mother and baby. We get in, a little daunted;  the man is wearing a bib and brave. I'm thinking Deliverance and look round the car for evidence of recent misdemeanours. But no need the guy is as good as gold and typical of most Australians, friendly and helpful even if we are English......and sure enough a couple of hundred yards up the road he drops us off and there, lo and behold, are Mother and Baby up a tree. They are truly beautiful little creatures.

Not only do we have several koala to wonder at but a passing 'roo pops his head up too, just by way of an extra treat. We also see a truly rare sight in the wild;  a koala, out of his tree (and not a drop of Victoria bitter in sight) and walking around on the ground.  Wow.  Raymond Island is the very best, maybe just topping the other night's penguin parade.  We very regrettably leave Raymond island after an hour or so to make our way to our next stop which is Tathra, a destination suggested by a very kindly 'grey nomad', the term round these parts for retired gentlefolk who spend their time touring round in caravans, campers, tents and what-have-you.  It's a long way and I'm edgy about making it there before six when the office closes. Still, I want to stop at the bend which caused so much navigational consternation the day before to gather photographic evidence that Wayne would indeed have ended up in the geraniums had she attempted a left turn at a right hand bend.  Wayne reminds me of the presence of the large knife in our little kitchen and the softness of the ground in Paynesville..... I shut up and we drive on.


We set our lunch point as Lakes Entrance, which we se little of apart from a spectacular view from the top of the hill above it, and a small rest area at the bottom. Fed and watered, we press on and into one national park after another.  This means endless trees (Diggins, you were right on that one) and twisty bend after twisty bend for a hundred kilometres or more.  The van is showing signs of its age today, the suspension is knocking, belts are squeaking and the steering is groaning on full lock like a pensioner in a supermarket queue.  Will we make it to Sydney?  Who knows? Jucy Rentals will certainly know about it if the van lunches itself before we get home.....

We arrive at Tathra with no Internet or phone, with twenty minutes or so to spare and book in. First impressions are it's Bogan City....... But we're stuck here for the night so, so what? We head into town and despite the total comms breakdown, we find signs of civilisation: a kebab shop!  We buy fish and chips and a kebab and head off to the beach to eat.  We are watched by 27 seagulls.  The food is excellent and the seagulls get the chips we cant' eat.  We round off our day looking at photos gathered thus far and have an early night. Tomorrow is a short run to Ulladulla, we think. Be nice to take it easy after pushing it today.....

Phillip island to Paynesville: a catalogue of communication breakdown....

Day two of the camper van odyssey started well with a beautiful sunny morning, weather which stayed with us all day. Probably something to do with not being in Melbourne..

Wayne cooked us egg and bacon sandwiches for breakfast under difficult conditions...despite this the beach tucker was good so we started the day in fine spirits.  We had a long days driving ahead of us to get to Paynesville, so we phoned ahead and booked in the Resthaven Caravan Park. Just as we'll we did... Wayne had her heart set on Wilson's Promentary, although what just what Wilson had done to merit this interest and what his Promentary is, or was, remains to be seen. After a very long drive we arrived to find the gate proudly proclaiming that on Tuesday 19th of March the cafe would be closed. It's about 1:30 pm and I've not had my dinner.  Bollocks.

We drive on anyway as early indications are that the area is of spectacular natural beauty.  Quiet where that went remains to be seen; after kilometre upon kilometre of little more than scrub and fire damaged bush, we give up and turn round.  I see the mileage in milking Wayne's faux pas and exercise it to the max.   Back at civilisation, some considerable time later,  we end up in Foster, where we have a hearty lunch and pick up a few provisions for tonight.

The detour cost us dearly and I get edgy about making it to the caravan park in time.  Wayne is instructed not to spare the horses and we head east with an edict of no further stops come hell or high water.  The edict is broken to make sure beer is transferred to the fridge for tonight. Who says I don't know what my priorities are?

We arrive just after six, after countless bouts of swearing at the iPad for either losing our location or the map itself. It seems the electrical interweb down here in carrot cruncher land is of a much lower grade than we are used to.  Then, within a few kilometres of our destination, world war three breaks out in the jucy campa as Wayne claims to not understand the instructions I'm giving her to get to our destination. Apparently the long trip has caused me to break into pidgin Swahili without my knowing, then?  She has trouble with being given some indication of what to expect next, slightly before it comes up on us,  and then loses it completely at one junction which was a simple right-left combination.  For an hour after she maintains that she could have turned left at a 90 degree right hand bend.......despite showing her the map she denies all logic until finally admitting that yes, we arrived at our destination under my guidance,  and no, you can't turn left at a right hand bend without rearranging someone's front garden....

We're all smiles again though after a lovely walk into Paynesville, which looks like an Australian Nantucket. Tomorrow we are ferrying over to Raymond Island where there is a koala colony, and I hope to find an interpreter who can help with the evergreen male-female navigational battle.

Will I make it through the night or will there be patch of Paynesville that will be forever English? Who knows, but there is one helluva big knife in our campa kitchen.......

Phillip Island, Penguins, Rabbits and Tourists...

Just a few quick words today as its been a long one and we need to try and sleep in the strangest of environments...

Left St Kilda and made our way to Phillip Island.  Nice trip down, not too many disagreements once Google Maps came out to save the day.   Phillip Island is like the Isle of Sheppey without the prison, sheerness or leysdown.  So actually it's lovely.

Been past the Motorbike GP circuit here - one of my faves - and have just been to the penguin parade.  This was brilliant with around 700 Little Penguins (and that's their proper name) emerging from the surf and trundling up the beach to their burrows.  Just finished the day with beer and chocolate under the stars. And believe me the Southern Hemisphere sky is spectacular...now gonna try and sleep in our converted Toyota Lucida campa van for the first time.......

Off to Paynesville or Lakes Entrance tomorrow - hopefully a few more, far more interesting words for you tomorrow. That's if I survive the night........

Another day at the South Australian Swimming Championships??

And, in a flash, it was all over......

Despite a 6:30 am start (on a Sunday so you can imagine the foot stamping that took place before we even left) our day at the Grand Prix went sooooo fast, we almost missed it.

Another solid breakfast and we were on our way to get there early for our pit straight walk.  Wasn't too worried about dong this but I went along anyway, and was surprised at how good it was.  We took loads of photos including some idiot who thought it would be funny to sit on the P1 spot, eight hours before Seb Vettel took his place there.  Shame aforementioned idiot was grinning so much he forgot to look down to turn one and see just what it wold really be like to head up a F1 grid.....

We were ushered away from the pit and on to the infield where we saw both Christian Horner, Red Bull Head Honcho, Helmut Marko, the Red Bull team owner, and also Checho Perez, McLaren's new recruit. And then it rained and blew a gale...... We hid under the pit straight bridge for a good twenty minutes where those in our party in shorts half froze to death. Not, for once, the idiot sitting on the grid I hasten to add.....

We watch a few events including the fly-pasts and the final celebrity challenge won once again by some Aussie cricketer type with Chris Hoy coming in second.  We dodged the v8s and the super cars but enjoyed the incredibly loud 70s and 80s Le Mans and Can-Am sports cars. And then to the final race of the week, the Grand Prix itself. We wait with bated breath for a juicy turn one melee in which we expect to see several million quid's worth of F1 cars in a pile before us.  Not so much as a clipped wing as the entire field filed past and on for 200 miles of high-speed action.  Maldonado gave us some consolation as he slid into our gravel trap and beached his Williams, but by and large the race was conducted impeccably with some stout passing and a lot more pit stops than expected.

Eventual winner was Kimi Raikkonnen, which was something of a surprise.  Neither Alonso nor Vettel looked happy despite their podium places.  Hamilton went steadily as did both Force Indias and Webber choked yet again at his home Grand Prix.  JB was disappointing but at least made up a place on his grid spot.  The weather held, just, and we all left the circuit in good spirits.  Fairy and the idiot from earlier tried to pinch the forlorn, lonely Paul di Resta placard from the drivers' parade, and made as good a job of that as they had of filling the water bottle from a golf course sprinkler tap the day before.  I close with nothing but praise for the Australian Grand Prix Corporation and how they run their event, and the people, who have looked after us, guided us, fed us, herded us and entertained us over the past for days..... the very best.

So, here we are in our last night in Melbourne, with some considerable regrets that we have not seen more of this lovely city. Tonight we have discussed differences between here and Sydney and the differences are tangible. Melbourne is better, I think, for being a city with an older character.  I hope one day I can come back and spend more time here.

Tomorrow we are off on our camper van odyssey...... we have some sort of plan, the only fixed points being the fact that we need to find three more places to stay overnight.  The trip is about 600 miles and we really don't know what to expect. The next blog will be on the road and, I suspect, will be far more interesting than previous meanderings..........

Ps thanks to the cheery Jones Stand Steward for providing today's title!

Four seasons in one day?

Nope, just the one. And it's called monsoon.....

The big day loomed large and excitement mounted at the prospect of today's qualifying session and the chance to see who is likely to strike the first blow in the bid for this year's championship.

But first, we thought we'd take a look at St Kilda beach, as it's so close.  Sounds like a plan, think you can easily have too much racing over four days, so we were looking forward to a change of scenery before proceeding to the track for the qualifying. But we wake to very un-beachside skies and by the time we are up and about, light rain has taken hold. Dang. So we change plan and head for Melbourne city proper on the tram. This reminds me of a quaint 80's Aussie film entitled 'Malcolm' in which a dim-witted Melbourne tram worker loses his job for building his own little tram,  has to take in a crim lodger and ends up building a car that splits into two and holding up banks by remote control....

Melbourne city turns out to be a fine place, we stroll around for an hour or so, along Flinders Street to  Federation Square, down to the river and through a Malaysian food festival where we munch delicious chicken satay  and on to lunch in DeGraves Street.  The weather breaks and the sun shines so we decide to head back to the circuit, which turns out to be far, far closer than we expected, and we are soon bathed in sun on the Clark grandstand at turn 9 for the final practice. 12 minutes in and it's properly chucking it down with rain. Not at all nice when you are in shorts......  Despite the rain the f1 guys come back out for a splash about.  There's a few offs, but nothing serious. The session finishes but the rain continues and the v8s dawdle about for 12 uneventful laps.  The weather worsens and we have a quandary. We can stay in our sodden state and hope they don't call the qualy on us, or we can go home where it doesn't matter if  they do.

We choose the middle ground and head back towards turn 14, where we could, in theory,  watch the cars from a general admission area.  As the weather improves a little, this looks like a good plan and we are cheered by the presence of the awesome RAAF FA18 fighter which is flying VERY low over the circuit.  These monsters make the F1 cars look like Honda Jazz's out on a shopping run.   We make it to our chosen turn and the weather worsens yet again.  Philip and Jez call the day and head off home, we decide to stay and tuff it out. They announce a further delay and we are five minutes behind Phil and Jez on our way home. We arrive home absolutely cloaked and dejected but are cheered by the end result, watched by us on TV, of just Q1 being run, cars going off all over the place and the rest of the session postponed until tomorrow morning.  The boys assume their role of hunters and bugger off up the shop to collect tea.  We come back, freshly soaked after a further downpour......

So here we are 8:45 Saturday night, almost at the close of our first week in Oz. So far, so good. I've not been hit by a tram or eaten by a dangerous animal, or claimed by a crazed serial killer who feasts on English tourists. Aside from today we've had good weather, good food and I've yet to get blind drunk, which is going some in Phil and Jez's company.... Wayne's still talking to me, and all  I've managed to lose so far is my headphones pouch .  All in all life is good out here in Oz, I'm chilled and for once feel in fairly good form.  Tomorrow is the Grand Prix at long last, and Monday we embark upon our camper adventure up the east coast back to Sydney, taking in Philip Island to go see the penguins.   Hopefully I can keep my words up and Wayne will still be talking to me by the time we get back;  I'll settle for not being buried at the side of the road after a night of excessive snoring on my part, with Wayne returning to civilisation alone, claiming I was taken by dingos in the night......

Thoughts from Turn One

So here we are on the first day of the Australian F1 Grand Prix where the mighty cars themselves make their first appearance. First run the other day, you think casting your minds back to earlier blogs.... Wrong again Cheesman, the noise we enjoyed on our arrival turned out to be the two-seater F1 car used to terrify the rich people.

We wake to an untypical sunny start, have a fine breakfast courtesy of Wayne, and head off to the circuit. It's a half mile walk at most. Just how, after all those years of struggling to and from car and bike meets up and down the country back in England, do we rock up right on the very doorstep of the greatest show on Earth?

Speaking of this show we agree - yes it's the Grand Prix, and a global event, but does it feel like it? No it doesn't..... It's rather odd, and maybe cos its early days, but it just feels like a uk bike meeting at the moment. none of the usual glitz and glamour on show, a good few people around though, but worthy of global attention? I think not...... suspect, however, that things may change tomorrow once qualifying proper starts. Either that or Bernie's not here yet, and they don't bother turning the show up to ninety until he rocks up?

Knob of the week has to go to Kimi 'Yes Yes I know what I'm doing, leave me alone' Raikonnen for his CLEAR hair care advert. The world has been saved from the most boring voice in the world via dubbing, but..... we nearly wet ourselves when we heard this odd squeaky voice apparently being attributed to the personality-free Finn. Why would an attention-shy type like him even consider doing something so ridiculous!?

After the disappointment of seeing Sir Chris Hoy land in the kitty litter in the obligatory Celebrity Challenge race, we sat down to two sessions of Formula One which saw one or two incidents and near misses right in front of us, and the Red Bulls looking like they are ready to clear up. Just as long as the local boy doesn't win, I'll not hear the last of it from Wayne.....she's a Webber fan, lord knows why. I swear you could get pickles out of a jar with his chin........

After a very nice meal and a beer in a very nice pub On Fitzroy Street we came back home to compare our respective rather odd suntan patterns. In my case it's bright red knees and little other evidence I've been anywhere near the sun. Others have varying combinations of bright red patches and brilliant white expanses, some vice versa but not a one of us with a decent tan after two days in the Melbourne sun....

So, tomorrow we are off to the beach for a couple of hours before we continue our assault on the GP and the qualifying proper. I'm hoping Mclaren and JB in particular are sandbagging; aside from newcomer Checo Perez who looks a very tidy little driver in his new team, they are looking the least promising of the big names thus far. But who knows what goes on and why in free practice.......

Hope all is good back there in the UK and the snow isn't causing more grief!

To all reading my blog of Oz

Just gotta apologise for the quality of this blog. The software I'm using is about as much use as a chocolate fireguard. Just read my last post and full of errors which I'm not prepared to own up to. Well, they're mine, to be honest, but borne out of not being able to read the entire blog during Edit mode. Cuts either the top or bottom off so you can't see it all in one go. No pics either but I might yet try again on this..... I'm on holiday so can't be arsed to find out why it's owing sooooo wrong. I'm not Ernest Hemingway by any stretch but this software, app, hindrance or whatever the f*** it's called makes it waaaay harder than it ever needs to be. So, sorry to all who take or waste the time to take a look at my meanderings , it could be 100 times better and more interesting if only this cr*p worked properly!

C

Fast food, Formula 1 and Flying Bunnies.....

Day One of the Australian Grand Prix.....

Pig heaven is not the phrase..... Enjoyed the day immensely from start to finish and for one its me who's still buzzing at 8pm while all around me are flagging!

Best of all we all enjoyed the day, Fairy in particular is enjoying her first GP as much as I am.  We are struggling with our respective ailments as much as ever, Wayne's back is bad, Fairy's tonsils are torture and my asthma is strangely troublesome despite the warm weather.... Hey ho!

After some heavy queuing action we make it across the pit straight bridge for the pit lane walk. Previous experience of these episodes involve a cast of countless pushy arseholes and even more countless elbows and backpacks in the face. Not today, and not in this fine country.  Politeness rules, and  people here somehow have grasped the concept of there being people other than themselves in today's world. I'm beginning to love this country. We shuffle past the very heart of Formula One, Scuderia Ferrari. I don't know whether to bow, or pray,  or to take as many photos as I can.  Tifosi? Me? Not till they have a driver I love as much as the red cars themselves........

And then a series of practice sessions throughout the day, notable points being us totally missing the whistoric session and then walking, purely by chance,  right into the muster point for these prehistoric beauties of racing. I'm six feet away from a Maserati 250F, Bugattis, Lotuses and Coopers I don't know the number of and really don't care.  Fangio, Moss, Ascari,  Brabham, Hill, Clark, Hawthorne and all the other forgotten giants of their era drove these beasts in cotton overalls, leather helmets, dirty faces and winning smiles, heroes of a bygone age which still to this day mean so much to me when they have no reason to.  Born too late maybe? Maybe......... Or maybe, just for once, I know what's what and fully appreciate what's Been gifted to me today. Fairy asks me about Fangio and who he was,  and I can't find the right words to describe the Great Man.  Talent and skill, honour and humility by the truckload..  In a world where a top driver is now a face, a lifestyle, a brand, we'll never, ever the likes of him again.  Progress? My arse.

Back to the modern action and we see v8 supercars, Carerra GT3's, seventies Le Mans sports cars, all sorts of interesting machinery roaring past our eyes along the pit straight for the remainder of the day.   Our last spectacle is the Ultimate Speed Comparison, in which a road car (albeit an eff-off fast one) a v8 supercar ( for this read Australian version of NASCAR, or something thereabouts) and an F1 car hammer round the circuit, handicap-fashion, with a view to all crossing the line at the same time. The players being no less than Casey Stoner and Mick Doohan from the two-wheeled side of my petrolhead fantasy world, the evergreen David Coulthard from the four-wheeled side. Contrived? Absolutely.  After 5.3km of Albert Park tarmac they cross the line, virtually together. Brilliant? Even more so.

We round off the day talking to the maddest man in Melbourne. He has a flying rabbit on his shoulder. I am not joking.  I ask if the pet shop was out of parrots when he went there. He doesn't get it. He produces video evidence that his rabbit does indeed fly. It does. In a helicopter. We make our excuses and leave, as fast as we can....

Roll on tomorrow, for once, great things can do nothing but get better!

Noise heaven.......

..........is just where I am at this moment in time.  Here we are on Canterbury Road, Melbourne. Right next door to Albert Park, home of the Australian Grand Prix. It's Wednesday evening, twenty to seven and we are less than a kilometre away from what sounds like first run for the f1 cars. And what a noise it is, 18,000 rpm of pure engineering genius.  The whole trip so far has been such a catalogue of new experiences that my first-ever GP has, until now, yet to register as the milestone in my life it should have done.  Crazy isn't it that I've chosen to travel as far as possible to finally go and see one!

Notwithstanding my current state of euphoria, today has been eventful to say the very least......i was woken at one this morning by Wayne's phone, thinking that the alarm had come round rather  more quickly than I really wanted it to.  This turned out to be Wayne's hairdresser, calling her for... Well, I don't know what.  She turned it off in disgust and we went back to sleep. We were up again at half seven to get ready for our flight to Melbourne. Rebecca very kindly came and picked us up and then proceeded to scare the living sh*t out of us on the way with her creative driving.... I've never seen Jez so animated, mind you he did have a Toyota Land Cruiser about two inches from his left ear....

I also had my first taste of air travel which wasn't steerage - Philip wangled us into the Virgin Australia lounge where we enjoyed decent breakfast and a leisurely wait for our flight to be called.  I'm worrying less and less about flying every time I have to do it, which I never thought would happen...... Our flight left a little late while Philip took the opportunity to give us a guided tour of the very runways on which he worked some twenty years ago,  whilst working for Qantas; he tells us that the runways are largely on reclaimed land stretching into Botany Bay; and not necessarily  entirely built of concrete....... there may apparently be one or two underworld figures in there for good measure. All very entertaining and a nice lead in to the take off which took in our second aerial view of Sydney Harbour, this time the sun-soaked version...

Day 3: We hit the city at last!

Well, we woke up to a grey and lacklustre day, but all the same we stuck to our guns and trained it in to the City. As we arrived at Circular Quay, a gentle rain fell and I somehow felt deprived that my long-awaited day at the Opera House was going to be grey and wet. But.......

Fifteen minutes later the clouds disappeared and revealed a beautiful, hot day. We walked round the Opera House which was every bit as glorious as I hoped it would be. We were able to walk right round Jorn Utzon's masterpiece in blazing sunshine, and went into the foyer to see what was on, and buy a couple of bits and bobs. Regretfully there was nothing on that took our fancy. Wayne certainly was lucky seeing Bryan Adams on her last night in Sydney 18 months back.

We headed into town to look for lunch which didn't take too long, we found a nice little cheap and cheerful cafe with portions so huge we were unable to do it justice. This properly did me in and I had to resort, much to Wayne's amusement, to having an hour-long nap on the grass at the far end of Circular Quay. We went on to have delicious ice creams before going for a meander around the bridge area and then, on our way to Darling Harbour to meet Rebecca, Wayne finally succumbed and got herself a decent hat ready for tomorrow's trip to Melbourne and the Rolex Australian Formula 1 Grand Prix. Are we hoping too much that the lead sponsor will be giving out freebies?

An early tea at the Blackbird cafe was nice, save the fact that it was soooooo hot in the window where we ate. We left the cafe and headed back to the shop where Wayne bought her hat, with a mission to replace my much loved and lamented hat with one similar to hers. This failed miserably as the shop was closed. Phew, a close call but my beloved titfer lives to fight another day!

Home on the train and everyone's tired, Rebecca takes a photo of me apparently asleep and slaps it on Facebook with no regard or the fact that I was looking down to check that my already short legs had to got any shorter with all the day's walking......

And so back to base, and another round of packing ready for tomorrow's trip to Melbourne. An early night beckons I think as we have an early start, so no extended waffling today I'm pleased to say!

Next stop - Albert Park and hopefully another season-starting win for JB? As long as Webber doesn't break the habit of a lifetime and scores a decent result in his home GP.......

Day 2 volume 2: walking the dog

It's been warm today, despite a cloudy start the afternoon has been lovely and warm and we have made the most of it by taking Harry the little dog out to Hawthorn Canal Park, which is where Rebecca has been working for the past few months.

The cafe is a little kiosk which caters not only for the thirsty walker but also their four-legged friends...young Harry had himself a pup-o-chino and also has in stock a nice bag of special treats.  There were loads of dogs out enjoying a stroll and a good-natured spot of socialising.  Good to see, I never realised Oz was such a land of dog lovers.

Starting to get VERY irritated by this blog software so I secured Rebecca's assistance this evening to put me (or this highly annoying App) right. We wto sample the local pub, the White Cockatoo. Although Jez promptly proclaimed his local 'a dive'..... we found it fine. But bugger me if beer in not bloody expensive in this country - actually mor e expensive than wine. How can that be? AND.........

They chucked us out at ten! What sort of third world country is this I find myself in!?

Despite all this, very sorry to say, even though Becca works in publishing.... We can't get pix to appear where they should....

See what I mean?!

Please just let me sleeeeeep!!!!!!

Day two sees a little cloud but a pleasant morning nonetheless.  Wayne has commenced her assault on the shops with Rebecca and left me to sleep in, more of which later.  This has also given me the opportunity to capture my fuller thoughts on day one in the Land of Plenty.

After a delicious and much welcomed breakfast Philip (with one 'l' I have now been informed, apologies Phil) took us down to the Sydney fish markets at Blackwattle Bay.  On a sunny Sunday morning this place was bustling. Now those of you who know me are thinking 'here it comes, he's off on one about shopping' but no,  this was a peaceful and easygoing affair, no-one's in a hurry and it's all very pleasant.  The platters being dished up in little open eateries in the market look delicious.  Think we might have to go back there soon and sample this for ourselves.  We buy monkfish, prawns, sushimi and oysters before we head back, this time over  the beautiful Anzac Bridge and home to a light lunch.

A few words about Philip and Jez's delightful house. Located in Petersham, a south-western suburb of Sydney, number 20 Terminus Road is a hundred and ten year old bungalow with a peculiar dual personality. The front half is pure turn-of-the-last-century Australian, and the decor and furnishings match it perfectly. The back half is far more modern and houses a beautiful airy kitchen leading onto a simple garden with a deck and a good-sized garage at the back.  We will no doubt come on to it's contents ome time soon.......

Eyes starting to get heavy already,  but I'm not going to give in, yet.  Philip suggests we go on a bit of a pub crawl, when all I really want to do is crawl in to bed.  Wayne, as you know, is not one for pubs but all the same we head off by very tidy suburban train from Petersham into Newtown and stop off at the Bank Hotel,  a very presentable bar with a terrace garden where we enjoy our beers and chat about what Philip's up to with his new job. Philip is quite right in suggesting a couple of beers will, instead of just giving me the usual singular wind, will in fact today give me a second wind. He's not far wrong.

Friends gather and come and go in the lead up to a delightful fish supper.  I try oysters for the first time and....well I love seafood but I'm not too sure about these little shell-dwellers.  Nice subtle taste, but not too sure if the hype is justified.

But by now, the eyes are going..... and going...... and gone.  I finally give up at quarter to nine and we head off to bed.  I'm asleep before my head hits the pillow and don't wake till ten to six as Sydney itself wakes up with the first planes, trains and automobiles roar, glide and pootle past our window.

Enough for now, the first shopping foray will soon be over and I need to have a shower before they get back. Also want to email a few mates to let 'em know I'm still alive....

8:45Sunday morning, I'm vertical and 12000 miles away from reality......

So is a 20-odd hour flight with head, knee, ear back and arse ache, along with about 2 hours of sleep worth it?

Well, as our flight path gave us a bird's eye view of Sydney Harbour bridge and the Opera House, the answer has to be an euphoric 'yes'!

I read an article the other day claiming that Australia was like England in the seventies......As someone recently accused me of being stuck in the seventies, obviously I have come home!  First impressions are very good,  a very relaxed and sunny atmosphere although somewhat surprised at how late the sun rises.  obviously, like Rebecca,  recovering from the obligatory saturday-night piss up in this fine city.  What was disconcerting was the sight of an area named 'Bexley' just ten minutes after landing......

We have arrived at Elayne's brother Phillip's lovely little house in Petersham and have just been sitting in the sun on the deck enjoying a fine breakfast.  This was much needed to restore my faith in the first meal of the day, after the road accident we were offered up, errrrrr, was it yesterday on the plane?  And yes the local insect population have made a start on me already..... No doubt word will get out and their bigger, more dangerous brethren will be planing the coming month's meat intake with glee and qantas will have one more empty seat on the return journey in April......

Anyway,enough now, we're going out exploring now and taking in the local fish market.   More later and hopefully some photos if I can work out how to add them!

Bloody hell, I'm in Australia. Just how the f*** has this happened?!

An Englishman's home is his castle.........

.......even if it is in Swanscombe.  Very sorry to say goodbye for a whole month..... Hope my rambling hovel is ok.  Snow is forecast next week so the heating has been tweaked.  The video is set for England's final assault on the Six Nations, lets hope the sheep botherers don't spoil the party!

Properly tired tonight, so just a few words before hitting the sack. The journey has begun as here I am in the kitchen in Hazlemere.  Work is all but done and there's just 24 hours on a plane between me and the Land of Plenty.  And no, Wesley, I don't mean asda...

Next post will hopefully see me on the other side of the world. Wow.........

Wish me luck!

Packed, weighed and prepped

So..........

All packed up in my little suitcase, 19 kilos of shorts, skids, tees, hoodies and hooves......It's really happening!

Out for a last pint today with my workmates, bet they'll sure be glad to see the back of me and my office rants for a month.  Is Australia really ready for another authentic Whinging Pom?

Just sorting out my iPad with more stuff to take my mind off the flight.  Do you get wifi on planes? Not on Qantas you don't, apparently.....  bugger. So signing up to Netflix and Lovefilm for the flight was....... what's that quaint old phrase?  As much use as tits on a bull......more games needed, I think!

So, taking a little more proper reading matter with me than planned...... For the sake of anyone who actually gets to read this,  Dan Walsh has just gone in the bag so hopefully my writing might improve,  not to the standard of the eloquent manc of course, but a spot of inspiration might make this    blog just a tad less dreary!

Wayne's upgrading her suitcase to make space for all those little tastes of England that Phillip has requested..... PG Tips, paxo stuffing, bisto gravy.....   I'm sure he'd have asked for a crate of IPA if he thought he'd get away with it.....I would!  At last count, she's up to a four-wheel trailer with a tarp, suspension and  a lighting board. It's only a question of time before we're talking HGV...

On that bombshell,  it's half twelve and time, I think, for bed.  Two sleeps to go!

Two and a half days to go........

.............it's 00:57 and evidently diazepam trial has not panned out too well. Afraid of flying? Naaah, not these days.  Afraid of not sleeping?  You betcha!  Never been further than Turkey so the prospect of a day in the air to get to Oz is daunting to say the least.  Wayne's offered to bore me to sleep with a comprehensive account of her entire clothes shopping career...... It's Australia, Wayne, not the outer reaches of the Solar System.

Not even packed yet, the clothes are on the bed and the various chargers, medication, sweets etc strewn across the kitchen. Shades all still in the car.  At least the blog is up and running now, such as it is. Hope it gets better as the trip progresses......and my mates get to read it so i can save the money from umpteen postcards for just one more beer on the Harbour?!

Right now sleep! Still got 2 and a bit days of work to get through..........

For now, C